Therapy for People Pleasing, Perfectionism, & Self Criticism
Are you someone who works hard, cares deeply about others, and is used to holding yourself to high standards? From the outside, you may seem capable and put together. But inside, you feel anxious, depleted, and never quite enough.
Maybe you have a hard time saying no, worry about disappointing people, or find yourself taking responsibility for how others feel. You may notice resentment building when you give too much, while also feeling guilty when you try to prioritize yourself.
Perfectionism and self-criticism can show up in quieter ways, too. You might second-guess decisions, replay interactions, compare yourself to others, or feel that you should always be doing more, handling things better, or getting it right.
You may notice:
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Difficulty saying no or setting boundaries
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Worry about disappointing or upsetting others
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Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions
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High standards that are difficult to meet
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Overthinking decisions or conversations
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Feeling guilty when you prioritize your own needs
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Resentment from giving more than you want to
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A harsh inner critic or persistent sense of “not enough”
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Comparing yourself to others
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Difficulty resting without feeling unproductive
What may be underneath these patterns
People pleasing and perfectionism often develop for understandable reasons. At some point, being helpful, easygoing, successful, or highly attuned to others may have helped you feel secure, connected, valued, or in control.
Over time, though, these strategies can become automatic. You may find yourself shaping your choices around what others need, avoiding conflict, or tying your sense of worth to how well you perform.
In therapy, we can become curious about where these patterns came from and what continues to keep them in place—without assuming that every part of you that developed them needs to disappear.
Our work may include helping you:
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Notice these patterns as they are happening
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Understand the fears or beliefs underneath them
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Set boundaries with less guilt
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Become more comfortable tolerating disappointment or conflict
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Loosen rigid standards for yourself
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Develop a kinder and more realistic inner voice
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Make choices based more on your own needs and values
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Build relationships that feel more mutual and authentic
The goal is not to stop caring about others or to lower every standard you have for yourself. It is to create more flexibility—so that caring, striving, and being conscientious feel like choices rather than requirements.
Moving Forward
You do not have to keep feeling overextended, self-critical, or like you are constantly trying to get things right. Therapy can help you develop a more balanced relationship with yourself—one where your needs matter, your worth is not dependent on perfection, and there is more room to make choices that feel true to you.
If this sounds familiar, I’d be glad to talk with you about whether working together might be a good fit.